the exciting events of miss verity

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07 Februar

the exciting events of miss verity

*pokes head slowly around corner, and takes it back*

*carefully peers around corner again ... head withdrawn much faster this time*

*repeats this until looks like is creating new dance moves*

So, now I know that it's QUITE safe, I can tell my story, while i have the chance ...
I've just dug myself out of my own grave. Darn, I gave it away, I meant to break it gently.
Anyway, a while back ... the very day I wrote my last entry in fact ... months ago now (ignore the one before this) There I was, in the middle of eating a pasta salad, sitting on a green hill- when the buildings started getting taller around me -but no - i was sliding down the hill- but NO- I was being pulled down by the toe. I looked down - an army, an ARMY of swording wielding giant rats.

The were chanting about cheese offences and how justice had to be done. After being thrown in the back of a milk float (finances must have been low), driven an unknown distance (i was distracted, the rats were riverdancing for me all the way) then thrown into a box in the ground, and shut in. I could hear the sound of earth being thrown on (or the stuff that's in beanbags, does it matter?).

Then I was alone. Well not alone - I had a fork (is that fair? I don't even get a spoon) and also a #DELETED WORD# which is NOT going to be mentioned again by the way, and i had to dig myself out with my elbows (i might have broken a nail) with the help of some worms (well ... they tried) who told me the secrets of making perfect eggnog (I still don't know what it is though) and i'd like to take this opportunity to thank them so thank you Gwormies (that's what they call themselves) I owe you one. Or three. Or two and three quarters, to get technical ... yeah, i didn't mean to squish you like that. Sorry.
*tummy rumbles* sorry! Hungry!! It's been a while you see! ANd even if the beetles had offered to sacrifice themselves, I couldn't have brought myself to eat their sweet smiles ...

And then I was free! Seeing that I was in the middle of somewhere, it took a while to trudge homeward. Trust me (or don't) it wasn't easy. Especially when I realised that I'd gone 34 miles in the wrong direction, towards the centre of the earth (well it gets confusing after being underground so long! Besides I'd gotten used to it, so it was comforting). But then - to my luck - I found a rollerskate! (yes, just one) So after that, I was here in no time. It was quite an amazing display of balance if I do say so myself. But you never know, my ordeal may not be over ...

21:43 | In Blog aufnehmen | random ramblings

Kommentare (3)

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	King Rat schrieb: How DARE they tell you the secret of the eggnog (that creamy eggy sugary milkyness)!! Hopefully they gave you h5n1 infected eggs so that you will become INFECTED (then we can EAT you (we're immune, we created the h5n1 strain so we can fund our ratty experiments by supplying the vaccine). That wasnt nice of me, but YOU ESCAPED! HOW DARE YOU!!! I WILL AVENGE THE CHEESE! nibbles gorgonzola and licks red wine Is that a FLEA in my tail?!?!?! Oh NO deja-vu, last time there was a flea in my tail 137 million people died and the cheese supply was COMPLETELY disrupted!! :o :o ANyhow, 'WE' are coming for you miss verity evil echoed squeak. 9 Feb.
	DragonBoyschrieb: Wotcha... Erm... Yeah...Errrrr... The link disappeared cos I thought you weren't about anymore... but if you're gonna be about (kinda) from now on then it might magically re-appear... I'm blaming it on the rats that kidnapped you... I reckon they stole it... Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhh... that's it.... it was the rats.... after they buried you (I was reading your tragic tale and I had a naggin feeling that I'd heard it somewhere before... strokes chin erm... Kill Bill 2 springs to mind... minus the pasta salad... and the sword wielding giant rats... ... ... ... and the milkfloat ... ... ... ... ... ... and the worms and the secret to making perfect eggnog... ... ... ... ... .... apart from that it was exactly the same... kinda jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez... i'm rambling again....) where was I... reads back oooooooooooooooooooohhhhh yes... they robbed... beat me over the back of the head with a copy of Hello magazine til I lost conciousness and then stole the link to your site.... you know some dangerous people... i mean rats... I want to know what you did to upset them in the first place... is this another steal from Quentin Tarantino in that you'll tell us at the end which will be the beginning .... and then you have to sit there for 9 days eaing krispy kreme doughnuts trying to work out what happened when... and stuff. Why can i not leave short messages on your site? Huh? I'll have a couple of boxes of assorted KK's pleeeeeeeease.... DB P.S. GREAT deal on your soul... i only got a tube of smarties for mine and that was paid by direct debit of a smartie a month... 7 Feb.
	Bruce Hollowell-Geddesschrieb: It appears you have a good excuse for your period of absence. Next time, perhaps you should ask the rats if they could throw in a Laptop and DSL line along with you. They're pretty lenient like that, or so I'm told. And there will be a next time. 7 Feb.

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